I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
