Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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