it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
