are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
