I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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