I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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