Dual....:-)
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
