The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
