why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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