apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
