Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
