I CAN MOONWALK!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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