He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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