thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
