It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
