I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
