Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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