That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize