every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
