The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
this will be a night to untag.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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