Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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