do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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