suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
