i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do herpes really smell.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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