look no pants
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
