She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
These tits shall not be calmed
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
