Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
