If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
