is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We are all done wearing pants today
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
