I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
