i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
