Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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