Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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