The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
