Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
