So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
