and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
