You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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