I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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