I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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