I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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