drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
