I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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