There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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