He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
