don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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