He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
