Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
