Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
