Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
