and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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