My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Let's get the cat blown out
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize