I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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