I cockslap morals
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
