you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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