I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
