My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
