were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
