Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
