just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
