The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
