I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
