Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
