haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
