Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
