Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize