Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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