Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
