i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
