She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
