There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
honey bunches of taint.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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