I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
