Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
