My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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