My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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