obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
