I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
