I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
