So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
