Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
