Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
